The battle

Today is a new day.
A day that is tougher than yesterday.
There are still many tears to be shed.
Many fears to be relieved.
Questions to be answered.
Thoughts that have no solution.
Can we take a moment to grief our situation?
Or must we continue with a smile on our face, pretending like we are not broken inside?
The truth is, we are broken.
Suffering with more internal pain than most people tend to realize.
But we make the calls, inform the family, and continue on because that's what is expected.


Not anymore.
It is my time.
I will scream,cry, panic.
I will not be ashamed when the tear falls from my eye.

But don't take that as me giving up.
For the battle is not over until I say it is.

CF Awareness month: Nurses Week

So I'm taking the time today to give a shout-out to all the nurses! This is nurses' appreciation week, and as many of you can guess, nurses are a big part of our life. What most nurses don't realize though, is their job affects us. There is nothing like having an awesome nurse during your hospital stay. They have a tough job. There have been multiple times where I've puked on nurses, tried to hit nurses, probably urinated on them, and they keep coming back. This is what dedicated to your career means. I would never put up with half the things nurses do and still stick around. I personally have 3 awesome nurses.One for pulmonary, one for my infusions, and one for gi. They put up with me calling non-stop, comfort me, help me, and are really just awesome what they do. The thing that baffles me, is that not only do they do this for me, but they more than likely do this for everyone! It amazes me. So shout-out to all those nurses out there! We appreciate you :)

Awareness Month!

So with Cystic Fibrosis Awareness month finally here, I've decided to do something super exciting. I've decided to let everyone in to see my blog and to see my daily life! In my mind, you can't understand CF until you see it. It's too complicated of a disease to just explain it someone and expect them to understand. So for anyone new to my blog, Welcome :) Just remember, CF isn't rainbows and butterflies so some of my posts could possibly be graphic.


Daily Life.
Where do I start?

Guess we can start here. Now my room doesn't look quite like this anymore because I just changed it-but you get the idea. In this corner you'll find all of my medicines. In the four pink bins,you'll find all of my pills-labeled pain management, daily, pulmonary and mucus production, and digestive. I take about 34 pills a day-that range from narcotic pain killers to medcines to produce stool. Underneath, you'll find in the thirty one bag all of my nebulizer cups,tubes,inhaled medications and my devilbliss compressor. I'm currently on two inhaled medications, albuterol and hypertonic saline, and should do them twice a day. Over in the white cubbies, you'll find my overflow of inhaled medications, miralax, diabetes equipment, and carafate.

 

 



 

You're staring at a good amount of money. In fact, almost all of the money that I make goes to my CF. I spend about 200 dollars a month in prescribed medications, not to mention if I gain an infection and need more antibiotics or steriods.

 

 

Another huge aspect of my life is doctor's visits. I go to Johns Hopkins at least once a week. I see a pulmonologist, GI doctor, nutrionalist, endocrinologist, and will now be seeing an ENT doctor. This is my team. They make sure to work together to keep my body functioning.

 

Medicines and doctors are only part of my life-I have to live on a normal side too with work and school and social time. It gets overwhelming, but if I want to breathe, I have to do it.