Updating when there's no new news

I find it quite difficult to post when there is nothing to share with the online world. How's life you ask? Work seems to consume my life-I am back up to 40 hours a week and I also got a promotion to be a case manager assistant. This was so exciting to me and it has been awesome to begin  my journey.

As far as health goes, I seem to be doing ok. Routine and mental health seems to effect me more than normal. Although I am not seeing as much progress as I would like, I am overall feeling better. I had an endoscopy done yesterday-it showed some nodules, some plaque, and an even possible fungal infection. I am never surprised when I hear news like this. I even made the statement yesterday that I "always awake to bad news". It doesn't seem like something that I should grow comfortable with, but it is never changing. I hope and pray for good news, but as the saying goes, I always tend to plan for the worst. I should get the biopsies back within 2 weeks and then hopefully we will have a better understanding of what is going on.

I'll write again soon.

xoxoxox

There will be hope,but no help.

As I sit here contemplating my next visit with GI tomorrow, I can't help but think on the pessimistic side. I am not sure why there is nothing but bad news coming in my direction. Better yet, I am not sure why I am 20 and dealing with these battles. Being scared isn't an option anymore, I have spent too many nights crying and wondering and hoping for an answer. It is a sad reality that eventually, there will be no help. There will be hope, hope to think that I will continue on pushing, but eventually there will be nothing more left than a body crumbling to pieces. I can't let this thought process get me down. Negativity isn't my friend. But unfortunately it is a reality. I try to keep my posts light-hearted and funny. I almost find it comical when people can't find the humor in their situation. But sometimes, there is nothing light-hearted about the situation. There is nothing that you can do or say that can make the struggle ok, you just have to do it.

But with an update:

Life has been busy,like always. I follow people's blogs on a regular and it never seems to me like they do anything.I find myself sitting here wondering if people feel the same about me? I am sure that the computer can make it seem like life is whatever you write it up to be. Anyways. I started having more GI problems a few weeks back, bloating, gas,leaking, all that gross stuff that no 20 year old feels like dealing with when she's just trying to live life. I'll find out tomorrow about the progress of treatments on my colon and find out if I am having kidney problems. I never knew that life could be so complicated. But I guess that's what makes life interesting.