Saturday, April 19, 2014

An almost week on zoladex

So it's almost been a week since my first zoladex shot.

The first day I was fine.
The actual place where they entered the shot was a little sore, but no symptoms.

Wednesday, I had my first hot flash.
I was pretty sure I was going to die.
KIDDING, but for real, it was terrible.

Thursday is when I started with real symptoms.
I can't even explain what's wrong-it's like my brain is telling me that I am in pain, but if you were to ask, I can't tell you what hurts.
I am also speaking jibberish. Not sure if this is related-but I cannot really process what is happening.

I also have NO appetite and plenty of nausea to go around.
I've been miserable.
I eat and then I get sick, or I don't eat, and then I get dehydrated and light headed from not eating so I still feel bad.
There's no win.

The worst part about it all is that it's not like when I went through my infusions and the first 3 days sucked, but then I get better. No, this one works the opposite in the fact that I will keep getting worse.

Oh well.
Other than that, nothing is really new.
I still need to schedule my gastric emptying study but I am having a difficult time with scheduling it.

Write again soon.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The road I travel must be a dirt road....

Did you find the title of this entry clever?
That's how I feel about right now. I feel as if my road is bumpier than an average road, there are many obstacles in my way and as soon as I feel like I am on a straight-away to feeling good, I hit a huge pot hole.

This pothole is probably one of the biggest.
As many of you may know, I have been battling a mass on my ovaries since August 2013. I have gone to countless doctors, had multiple ultrasounds, and tried countless therapies to fix it.
I had finally hit my breaking point, when the doctor mentioned the magic words "surgery".
This is what I had been waiting for, I wanted this more than anything. To have this mass removed and to feel better. The doctor said I just needed one last ultrasound and then I just be cleared for surgery.

That last ultrasound opened a door that I never saw coming.
I got a call, saying I needed to go to an oncologist.
Everyone knows what kind of doctor this, and everyone knows when you are referred to one, it's never a good thing.

So, with my head between my knees, I called the oncologist and got an appointment for 4/8.

The overall appointment seemed positive.
What is the doctor's approach.
Medical menopause.
That's right. I am 21 and will be going through menopause all at the same time.

Sounds like a good time?
Yeah right.

I will go into the office every month, starting 4/15 and receive an implanted injection called zoladex.
Research it.
I am not excited about this.
I do not want my bones to hurt, or to be even more tired than I already am, or being moody.
Ok that's all of my rant on that.

The GOOD news about all this?
1-With going through menopause, the doctor believes my pain will subside.
2-This will prepare me for surgery, and will make the doctor more comfortable with taking out ovaries if necessary.
3-The medicine used to put me through menopause is actually used to treat certain forms of cancer, so there is a CHANCE that the medicine can actually help my cyst.

The NOT SO GOOD news about this?
1-Bloodwork every two weeks to monitor my hormone levels and my CA125.
2-Menopause at 21. (except not having periods, that'll be nice).
3-The doctor does have reason to believe that there is cancer, but believes that we have enough time to do these steps first before the surgery.
4-The fact that if this doesn't work, I will still be in pain.

So there it is. My big news. Not the easiest for me to swallow, but to me, it seems to be just another pothole and I just have to keep driving.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

One week in the bag!

I am writing today on a very positive note.
I successfully made it one week without ANY gluten!

That wasn't without temptation.
I had to watch my boyfriend eat a delicious cake, my friends drink beer, and the temptations at work were unbelievable.

But after a week, I made it through.
The cravings are slowly going away and I am starting to feel like a normal human being again.
I don't expect to automatically feel better after a week, especially since I have had some major dairy slips, but I am feeling improvement.

I wake up feeling alert and go to bed never feeling overly tired.
I feel energized and active to the point where I was able to stop relying on caffeine.

So will I stick with it this time?
It's very much possible. The change may be worth giving up the nuggets and doughnuts.

On a side note-I had what was supposed to be my final ultrasound on Monday before I was to be given a surgery date. I've called the doctor's twice to receive the results and I am still waiting. It makes me nervous, but I know there is nothing else left for me to do except for wait.

That's all for now,