Finding a home

Yesterday, I hit a roadblock.

Actually, the road block began Wednesday night in the midst of our travels to my father's house. 

At 21 years old, I have finally come to the conclusion that my family will never be "normal".

Every holiday I must choose who I want to spend my time with.

This year, my family was spread out not only over one state, but two.

I was finding it hard to be thankful when I was stuck in this sticky issue.

Where do I go? Who do I choose to be with?

Then I remembered.

I'm breathing.

I'm not in the hospital fighting for my life at this moment.

Why does it matter so much who I am with?

What I am doing is most important.

Celebrating life, love, and happiness.

The tears then started to clear up, and I was able to enjoy my holiday with some of my closest family members.

How was your thanksgiving? 

A week full of accomplishments!

Well, lets see here-I am a little excited today.
This week was the first week in months that I had more good days than bad.
Unfortunately, so many good days put me on the couch Thursday and Friday with a fever and unbelievable pain.

But back to the good days!
1-I got up around 8 am(some days earlier) everyday except for Friday. That is an easy way to add 4 hours to your day.
2-I was able to make it work on Tuesday. I worked for 6 hours and enjoyed every minute of it. To top it off, I even made it to my boring work meeting on Wednesday. I wasn't as much excited for the meeting, but the fact that I was able to make it made me happy.
3-I went to GI on Wednesday and made a lot of progress. All of my meds are being swapped around and were going to consider doing the surgery for my esophagus in January.
4-All of my appointments are now lined up and I am getting super excited for Disney!

What did you do this week?

The month of giving thanks!

I love fall.
I love Christmas.
I love everything that has to do with pumpkins, apples, gingerbreads, orange and red, and well you get the picture.

To be on bedrest while my favorite season is passing by is so painful-luckily I have a set of beautiful french doors that allow plenty of light and fall colors in.

I did make it to an apple orchard for the first time ever.It was so much fun to be outside and enjoying the fresh air. We picked apples, went on a hayride, and best of all I was able to spend it with two of my very best friends and my boyfriend.

So obviously, there are things that I am thankful for.
I can run a list a mile long: my life, my family, my friends, my boyfriend, my job, having the ability to take care of myself, etc but there is one thing that has stuck in my mind.

Determination.
Don't get me wrong-I think you need to give credit where credit is due and I try not to take advantage of things I have been gifted, but if I didn't have determination where would I be really?

I would be sickly because I wouldn't be determined to fight.
I would be lonely because I wouldn't be determined to put the effort back into relationships.
I would be swamped with medical bills because I would've given up on work a long time ago.
I would feel worthless because I wouldn't do anything to make myself happy.


Determination is what gets me through each and every other day, so for that I am forever grateful.
What are you thankful for?

Learning to Run

To follow my last post, I have decided that taking up another exercise habit is a must.

I love spinning class.
I hate paying $40 a month for a worthless gym otherwise.


We moved to a lovely community in August and I think it would be the perfect place to start walking, and learning to run.

I just feel as if I am on a search for something.
Anything to make me feel complete or worthy again.

I used to love running until my lungs started to suck again.
I was down to 10 minute miles-I was about dead afterwards, but I was doing them.
I want to do that again.
I want to have the power over my own body again.

Forgetting the Basics

Sometimes, especially when I am down with an illness, I forget to keep up with the basics. Making sure when I eat, I eat balanced meals(or at least healthy foods), exercising, sleep patterns, all seem to go out the window. It normally isn't a big deal-I fall off of the track for 3-4 days and hop back on.But this time, it's been 4 months. I have forgotten what it is like to function like a normal person. I have neglected my body and honestly, could be causing it more harm than good. I believe that I have decided to join the gym again-it is the only way I can hold myself accountable. If I am paying for something, I intend to use it-even if it just to attend a yoga class or spinning.

There are just so many things you can do for your health, I don't know why I have never tried before. There are so many things to look into-juicing, herbal remedies, etc. I hope that this is a start of a new journey :)