The wait in pain process

It isn't often that I post about something in the mixing bowl, but today I am going to do just that.I left the gynecologist in frustration, tears, and feeling more anxious than I did before I went in. As many of you know from mass texts and such, there has been some talk about a mass on my ovaries. We have been trying to do everything to relieve my pain, and I just end up curled on the couch at the end of the day, wishing it would go away. After spending an hour in the gynecologists office, the only hopeful things I heard were that we were going to move on in the process and get a surgery consultation on its way. Other than that, we are almost stuck. The insurance will not pay for the surgery until I have two sonograms, and until I have reached my 21st birthday. Why until I reach my 21st birthday? My doctor believes it's due to the complicated risks associated with this type of surgery-there are many times a patient goes in for "exploratory" surgery and comes out with a full hysterectomy. I understand that I am just a baby, but it is overly frustrating that I have been handling my own medical affairs and necessities for 5 years now, and they are now beginning to question my ability to read my body. October 23rd is the scheduled surgery consult. It feels forever away, but in reality I know that it will be here before I know it. I have never had to wait so long in pain,and quite frankly have never reached this type of fear in my life. I can only expect the worst and hope for the best.

Thanks for being patient with me blogland x0x0